Some jerk sent us two boxes of this awful book (SPOILER ALERT: George Washington - Patriot; George Soros - Pinhead) instead of anything soldiers at a remote outpost in Afghanistan might need, like, say, food or soap. Just burned the whole lot of them on my Commander’s orders.
(Source: , via stfuconservatives)
Fingernails, toenails, and hair. Now, Citibank will know that I am serious about more than just this annoying garbage junkmail, but am also very serious about personal hygiene.
Let’s get creative. This time, I simply stuffed a bunch of garbage from my work truck into the envelope. Right back atcha, fuckers.
Mail a Brick Using Paid Postage
You know those obnoxious “refinance your home” orcredit card
scamsoffers that you get in the mail? This is called direct marketing, where marketers use a reduced bulk postal rate to send entire forests of paper mail to you.So this is something you can do in response.
Find a shoebox, or a storage bin, or any cardboard box you have laying around. Fill it up with bricks, big blocks of iron, or maybe cement. Tape the box up with everyday packaging tape. Use a junkmail’s postage-paid envelope and tape it neatly to the top cover of the box. NEATLY. And mail it off. Envelope revenge!
A few days later, your package shows up at the junk mailer’s location, and they have to pay for every cent of delivery. Once the cost outweighs the benefit, they will stop sending out direct mail marketing material. And that is my goal.
Doing this has the following beneficial side effects:
-Since these companies pay the post office, this lightens the load taxpayers need to pay to keep the post office operating
-This creates employment opportunities. The post office keeps cutting staff because of lack of buisness; this gives the post office a huge source of income from thecredit card
scamcompanies.-This will lead to more cautious bulk mailing. Maybe these junk mailers simply don’t know they are annoying people? Hopefully they will learn very quickly!
-This makes me laugh maniacly, like a cartoon supervillan.
-This saves trees. Once enough of us do this, the junk mail companies will stop sending us junk. Or at least they will be more discriminate about it. It will save trees and keep the landfills empty! Yay!
-If we do this enough, the USPS will make so much money, that they will lower postage costs.
Keep Wall Street Occupied (by ransackedroom)
Meow. Kept it simple this time.
Included:
- Citibank’s original garbage sent to me
- A handfull of catfood. My kitty was happy to donate to a good cause. Meww
In the spirit of Halloween, I decided this reply needed a motif. So I wished Citibank a Happy halloween, and sent my wrappers of the candy I ate that I was really supposed to give out to tiny children. And a personal note … this time I’m looking out for all of your precious childhood trees.
…And I drew a happy cat face.
My very first business reply. Kept this one simple… 3 envelopes worth of Citibanks garbage stuffed into one business reply. Bitches.
I will be documenting and taking pictures of all mail and whatever items/garbage I may include in my business replies on this . I will provide a picture, and listing of everything in the envelope.
I can only hope that you will do the same. You know that favorite tree in your backyard that you used to climb as a child? Imagine it being chopped down and made into a bunch of bullshit that no one wants. You’re pissed.
I hope this inspires someone. In fact, I would LOVE to see what you send back. Its none of my business what you send, but please do not send me pictures of something that may get you in trouble. You’re going to want to make sure NO personal information is included if you do so, hypothetically speaking. Of course I would never promote such tomfoolery… Or would I?
Are you sick of getting credit card and insurance applications in the mail from these giant corporate companies? Does your post office call you when your PO box is full, only to find out its all JUNK MAIL?! Have you ever gotten excited by receiving a bunch of mail only to have your excitement trampled on by the fact that its all junk mail and no one really loves you? What an emotional rollercoaster!
Fight back.
If these huge greedy corporations are going to continually send me their UNSOLICITED garbage in which I have no interest in, well… then I’m going to send their garbage back, along with some of my own. Only fair right?
This happens to you.
Lets say you receive your 147th parcel of mail from Citibank, Bank of America, or some other criminal corporation. You’ve had it. And… you cry at night thinking about all the helpless trees that are SLAUGHTERED to create this plethora of garbage/junk mail/ credit card applications. Its dispicable. And there is NO way that you can opt out, or say no to receiving this load of garbage. No matter where you move to, the junk mail follows. They harass you.
So what do you do with this wasteful trash? Simply shred it? Throw it away?
There is a much better alternative.
Inside the envelope you receive is a business reply envelope. Its postage has been pre-paid by these banks and other mail molesters. MEANING - you send it back on their dime. The banks want to make it easy as pie for you to get a loan or credit card and go into massive debt, so they include these so you can send your credit card application back.
But…
What if you send something else back? If they are going to send a bunch of junk to you, then why don’t you just send it back, at their expense. Better yet, why dont you send some garbage of your own?
Yessss
The feeling of sweet vengeance and irony as someone in a corporate mailroom opens a business reply only to receive their own junk mail back, along with a pile of toenail clippings.
DO IT.
Send these business reply envelopes back. Fill them with the junk you receive, and them some garbage of your own. I want these corporations to feel the backlash, and know what it is like to constantly have to deal with the load of shit you get in the mail everyday.
With enough business replies…
Perhaps they will get the message. You’re not interested. Or maybe you’re part of the 99% sick of this criminal corporate controlled media machine. Maybe you’re sick of pay to play politics. Maybe you want your voice heard. Maybe you’re sick of helpless, innocent trees being killed for this garbage, and want to save the environment… Or maybe you just want to have a laugh and send something really bogus to someone for your own entertainment.
But with enough replies, the message will get through. And maybe, just MAYBE… the junk mail will end. You decide.
