Posts tagged business reply
BUSINESS REPLY
Send that shit back!!!
Fingernails, toenails, and hair. Now, Citibank will know that I am serious about more than just this annoying garbage junkmail, but am also very serious about personal hygiene.
Let’s get creative. This time, I simply stuffed a bunch of garbage from my work truck into the envelope. Right back atcha, fuckers.
In the spirit of Halloween, I decided this reply needed a motif. So I wished Citibank a Happy halloween, and sent my wrappers of the candy I ate that I was really supposed to give out to tiny children. And a personal note … this time I’m looking out for all of your precious childhood trees.
…And I drew a happy cat face.
My very first business reply. Kept this one simple… 3 envelopes worth of Citibanks garbage stuffed into one business reply. Bitches.
Send it back!
Are you sick of getting credit card and insurance applications in the mail from these giant corporate companies? Does your post office call you when your PO box is full, only to find out its all JUNK MAIL?! Have you ever gotten excited by receiving a bunch of mail only to have your excitement trampled on by the fact that its all junk mail and no one really loves you? What an emotional rollercoaster!
Fight back.
If these huge greedy corporations are going to continually send me their UNSOLICITED garbage in which I have no interest in, well… then I’m going to send their garbage back, along with some of my own. Only fair right?
This happens to you.
Lets say you receive your 147th parcel of mail from Citibank, Bank of America, or some other criminal corporation. You’ve had it. And… you cry at night thinking about all the helpless trees that are SLAUGHTERED to create this plethora of garbage/junk mail/ credit card applications. Its dispicable. And there is NO way that you can opt out, or say no to receiving this load of garbage. No matter where you move to, the junk mail follows. They harass you.
So what do you do with this wasteful trash? Simply shred it? Throw it away?
WRONG
There is a much better alternative.
Here’s what you need to do
Inside the envelope you receive is a business reply envelope. Its postage has been pre-paid by these banks and other mail molesters. MEANING - you send it back on their dime. The banks want to make it easy as pie for you to get a loan or credit card and go into massive debt, so they include these so you can send your credit card application back.
But…
What if you send something else back? If they are going to send a bunch of junk to you, then why don’t you just send it back, at their expense. Better yet, why dont you send some garbage of your own?
Yessss
The feeling of sweet vengeance and irony as someone in a corporate mailroom opens a business reply only to receive their own junk mail back, along with a pile of toenail clippings.
DO IT.
Send these business reply envelopes back. Fill them with the junk you receive, and them some garbage of your own. I want these corporations to feel the backlash, and know what it is like to constantly have to deal with the load of shit you get in the mail everyday.
With enough business replies…
Perhaps they will get the message. You’re not interested. Or maybe you’re part of the 99% sick of this criminal corporate controlled media machine. Maybe you’re sick of pay to play politics. Maybe you want your voice heard. Maybe you’re sick of helpless, innocent trees being killed for this garbage, and want to save the environment… Or maybe you just want to have a laugh and send something really bogus to someone for your own entertainment.
But with enough replies, the message will get through. And maybe, just MAYBE… the junk mail will end. You decide.
